Monday, March 24, 2008

Crushing on Albee

Recently heard a radio interview with playwright Edward Albee.

When he started talking about the way he felt about his adoption, I pulled over to listen.

He talked in a very unemotional, straightforward way.

He explained he didn't feel like it was a good fit...that he didn't feel like he belonged in the family...and he didn't much like his adoptive parents. (Ah, the Ding of familiarity!)

As simple as that.

He didn't seem bogged down by Guilt nor twisted by inner conflict.

This is the way it was, he seemed to be saying. No big deal.

How refreshing.

How liberating.

If only I could begin to look at my own adoption placement like that, expressed in no-nonsense sentences.

Now I'm fascinated. I'm not very familiar with his work. I know he's a famous adoptee. The fact that he's not a Cheerleader Adoptee is a big, fat relief.

In my head, adoption is endlessly exhausting and complicated. If I could just get some clarity. Must do some reading about Albee. Must read him. He must save all his adoption-related demons for his work.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Spell Check This


Was spell checking an email on Yahoo mail today.

It kept highlighting the word, "adoptee."

No such word exists. Or so it implied.

The spell checker gave me some nifty options:


Oh, the irony. I was feeling a little invisible today. (I swear, adopters are always well media, as lawmakers, as spokespersons for adoptees and now...on spell check)

Well, shoot. Maybe I'd misunderstood. Maybe that's what I was supposed to be all this time.

An adaptee. (And no, I'm not anti-adoption. Just anti-adoption-is-wunnerful-no-biggie-pretense)

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Why I Hate Charades

If there's one game I loathe and despise, it's charades.

A couple times, I've been invited to play at a party as an adult and I flat out refused.

I was watching the movie, The Family Stone in which the uptight character played by Sarah Jessica Parker was forced to join in the merriment of a game of charades. And while she wasn't a particularly sympathetic character at that point in the movie, I was immediately on her side.

Since the movie always seems to be on HBO, I always seem to click on the channel just as the charade scene begins and every time it makes me squirm. I can't find the remote fast enough to turn the damn thing off. (I actually like the movie). So I got to wondering...why? Why does that scene make me so uncomfortable.

Charades, in my opinion, has got to be most embarrassing, exasperating, downright stupid and pointless game to ever be played by grown-ups.

I think I just figured out why.

It's because I spent most of my life pretending.

Pretending to be the biological child of my adoptive parents.

Pretending I didn't mind being adopted.

Pretending I didn't wonder about the woman who gave me away.

Pretending adoption was no big deal.

Pretending I was grateful.

Pretending to be the daughter my adoptive parents needed me to be instead of the person I actually was.

If you earn your living by Pretending then you have zero patience for fun and games pretending. When you've been turned into a pro by Closed Era Adoption practices, you don't want to play with amateurs.