Thursday, August 02, 2007

Blog Update

Time to do some badly needed blog maintenance.

In the meantime, as an adoptee handed over to narcissists, I highly recommend Julie's post entitled, Psychologically Challenged Adopters at www.lizardchronicles.blogspot.com

Am working on updating LINKS. This may take several days. If you read my blog and would like to be added, please leave your informacion as a comment. This means adoptees, first mothers/fathers, adoptive parents and adult children of narcissists (www.houseofbonsai.blogspot.com being an excellent one!)

And speaking of narcissistic parents, several thoughts. Had the pleasure of meeting an 84-year old woman the other day. My exposure to the over-80 crowd without either dementia or narcissism is zip. She was funny and delightful. Actually, she bought a used car from me. We actually had a conversation. You know, where she talks and then you get to talk and there's some back and forth. And My God!, she complained not at all!

Later that day, I had to call my narcissistic elderly father. The contrast was shocking. Okay, a-dad has dementia, but certain behaviors are as old as I am.

Dealing with the 84-year old lady from San Francisco was dealing with an adult. Although short, it was a meaningful connection.

Dealing with my NPD father is dealing with a child. There is no meaningful connection. It is an ENCOUNTER. It is hard work. Is is draining. And above all, it's very, very sad.



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15 Comments:

Blogger LeRoy Dissing said...

Glad you had a "real normal" conversation with a "really normal" human being Nina! You can always add me to your list. If you need more information than you already know, just let me know.

Keep those boundaries clear with adad always...NPD folks will suck the energy right out of you. Tis so true and as you aptly put it "very, very sad".

4:10 PM  
Blogger Nina said...

Leroy, I am definitely going to add you to my list. The template section of blogger freaks me out, so the going is slow, although I did manage the adoptees today!

I think it's more than a little sad that we need boundaries to contain our parents. But what else can we do? Without stable fences, we would be like the grass nibbled to bits by ravenous goats. Nothing left.

6:19 PM  
Blogger LeRoy Dissing said...

There is nothing left to do if you are to maintain a sense of self and sanity...both of which I believe you have :)

6:26 PM  
Blogger Elise said...

Hi, Nina,

Thanks so much for your vote of confidence on my blog! (You left off the ".com" at the end of the URL, by the way.)

I am humbled to know that my blog is helpful to anyone other than me! I put it out there for myself first, and for my friends second (in the hope that they would finally understand; I write a lot better than I speak). But now I realize that comments I've gotten from other folks who've been on the "short end of the N stick" have been some of the most helpful of all.

Elise

12:38 AM  
Blogger Third Mom said...

You have most definitely got your hands full with your a-dad. Hard stuff to deal with, for sure.

I've got you linked and would love to be added when you update.

11:10 PM  
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