Surrounded by Adoption

To borrow a bit from Jane Austen, "I am all amazement."

How DID I manage to repress all those feelings about my adoption? And for soooo long?

There is so much to process.

I can't believe the mental work it takes to sort through it all.

Over the weekend, a friend told me about her grandmother who had eleven children. She gave three of the youngest up for adoption because she was so poor. Two of the boys grew up knowing their mother and first families. The girl did not want anything to do with her first mother although, my friend insisted, this girl did not grow up "bitter" and "angry" and went on to be highly successful in the field of education. Then my friend (who knows I'm adopted) said something like, "Oh well, we're all dealt problems and we just have to get over it the best we can."

I had no energy to even explode. Was she trying to tell me something? I've only spoken to her - briefly - about my status as an adoptee.

Adoption is all around us and only the adoptees really know what it's like. The inner life we lead. The complicated emotions. I got to thinking about this woman who was one of three children given away by her mother. Only she knows what she feels about this. Why did my friend, who only knows about her, insist this adoptee wasn't bitter and angry? Because the adoptee was ambitious and successful? Maybe she spent her entire life trying to prove to her first mother, "You were wrong to give me away! Look how valuable I am!"