A New Awareness

Had to take a bit of time off because I was getting bogged down with all these adoption issues.

Have spent the last ten months or so dealing with all this STUFF....after four decades wandering around in a daze, chanting, "Adoption is no big deal. Adoption is wonderful. I am so grateful."

Bullet pointed Epiphany during mini-mental-break:

--Healing takes an ENORMOUS amount of psychic energy. Even physical energy;

--Waking up from adoption brainwashing leaves one drained, as if recovering from a chronic illness that lasted entire decades;

--On the other hand, REPRESSING the impact that adoption has on one's life also takes enormous energy; it's like spending an eternity with your shoulder shoved against the closet door and you've been warned by society that evil lurks inside

--Productivity after meeting one's mother is SHOT because, no matter how fabu the experience at first, it's gonna hit you and take you down, until you pick yourself up and begin putting together the pieces

--Meeting your first mother, when possible, no matter how terrified you are....goes a long way to making you feel like a real person with a history and not a two-dimensional character with a backstory made up by people playing God.

And speaking of THOSE righteous people playing God with the lives of adoptees, separating us from knowing our mothers and our "particulars" and denying our basic human rights....how dare you? I know almost all there is to know and guess what? I'm still standing. I am not and never have been a piece of nameless property.