tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27818433.post186895579366421848..comments2023-11-05T04:19:22.205-08:00Comments on Adoptee Journal: Post Reunion EtiquetteNinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12077857199651890460noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27818433.post-13647604344288996732010-07-16T01:23:43.200-07:002010-07-16T01:23:43.200-07:00joyful tomato -
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THANK Y...Hi Suz, You gave me a lot to think about. THANK YOU. I'm in a muddle. I'm not sure WHAT I want. Whether meeting her once was enough or if I want continued contact. This is gonna get a little long, so I'm gonna post. <BR/><BR/>Yeah, Possum...Why can't it be easier? And my face fell into a box of chocolate truffles. I have no idea how it happened but I'm not entirely sorry either!!! Hugs!<BR/><BR/>Leroy, Yeah, I probably will call her and didn't I read something that despite all this anti-clutter propaganda that it's not all that bad???Ninahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12077857199651890460noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27818433.post-69540221291680526482007-02-21T16:28:00.000-08:002007-02-21T16:28:00.000-08:00I'd probably drop her a note or give her a call ju...I'd probably drop her a note or give her a call just to find out how she is doing and go from there. <BR/><BR/>But you need to do what makes you comfortable including having a cluttered, lived in home :)Doughnuthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00100398955132921465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27818433.post-60114129818159826162007-02-21T13:22:00.000-08:002007-02-21T13:22:00.000-08:00Why - oh - why can't this whole 'reunion' thingy b...Why - oh - why can't this whole 'reunion' thingy be a little LESS complicated??!!<BR/>Very proud of you that you are calmer about things though.<BR/>(does that mean there may be hope for me yet?? LOL)<BR/>Once more - I offer up copious amounts of chocolate - while we wait!!<BR/>Hugs, Possum. xx (formally Chez!!)Possumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01868324445518687576noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27818433.post-67573453881515119052007-02-21T10:42:00.000-08:002007-02-21T10:42:00.000-08:00Ah,the feedback void. I know this well. Quite pos...Ah,the feedback void. I know this well. <BR/><BR/>Quite possible she is thinking same. What are next steps? What do you want? Need? Is that all you wanted? To meet her? Do you want continued contact? If she wants it, is that okay with you? What if she needs space, how to handle that? Can she tell you that? What if you need space, can you tell her that without fear of abandonment?<BR/><BR/>This is for me THEE biggest challenge in reunion. The lack of feedback. The lack of knowledge how the other is feeling. I pray to the Goddesses that my daughter finds her voice over time and realizes its okay to tell me what she feels. wants, needs, that I am not going anywhere. She is entitled her feelings as much as I am entitled to mine.<BR/><BR/>For me, lack of feedback is interpreted as punishment. Making me stew. My daughter hasnt rejected me but she wont meet, talk, ec. (and it will be two years in June). I can intellectually understand and explain this...but emotionally, it feels like punishment. A desire to hurt me. Maybe it is. Maybe it isnt. I cannot know for sure....cuz she doesnt tell me.<BR/><BR/>Gosh, rambling...please, as a mom, give your mom some indication of what you need/want. Define the rules, the expectations with her, not against her. She may have NO frikking clue what to do next, maybe afraid anxious..especially since she is an older mom (older than me that is)<BR/><BR/>Wishing you both luck. (and myself too!)suzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00192108446381808647noreply@blogger.com